Love languages is a very integral part of any relationship and it all boils down to communication. A lot of people in relationships are having issues while others feel so alone even while in a relationship, these are all signs of bad communication and it’s because love languages are not properly understood.
According to Dr Gary Chapman the author of the five love languages, it describes the way we feel loved and appreciated. Depending on our personality type we feel loved differently than how our partners want to. Understanding each other’s language is key to achieving good communication.
There are five different love languages according to Dr Chapman and they are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
This love language expresses love with words. It doesn’t have to be so long, it could be simple and sincere words it will go a long way in making your partner happy if this their love language. Verbal compliments like
“I love you “
“You look so beautiful”
“Thank you for being an amazing wife”
Words mean a lot to your partner and compliments will definitely make them feel loved and you also need to be careful because negative words can hurt them a lot and it could take them longer to forgive than others.
Acts of Service
For people whose love language is this, their slogan is simply “Action speaks louder than words”. This love language expresses itself by doing things you know your partner would like. For example, cooking, taking out trash, cleaning, doing the laundry etc. are all actions that require some thought, time and effort.
It should also be done positively and your partner’s happiness should be the ultimate for it be considered as an expression of love. Actions out of obligation or with a negative tone are something else entirely.
This love language is all about undivided attention. Your partner wants you to themselves no other distraction, they want to be included when you are free and also be the centre of attention even when you are outside.
This doesn’t mean you can’t go out together or Netflix and chill you just have to make sure there is a dedicated time for both of you to be together and avoid distractions, this is the way they feel comfortable.
As against popular opinion, these people are not necessarily materialistic it just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift will make your partner feel loved. It could be as simple as getting their favourite ice-cream flavour when you go out or get them a small gift after a long week it would mean a lot to them.
This is different from acts of service where you show affection by actions that help your partner.
People whose love language is physical touch want to be touched by their partner. It does not necessarily have to be about out of the world or extreme PDAs but they would feel safe and comfortable by holding hands, kisses and hugs.
If Physical Touch is your partner’s love language they will feel unloved when there is no physical contact. No gifts or service would change that feeling. They want to feel you closely not emotionally but physically.
It is important to know your partner’s love language as this helps you to know what makes your partner happy and loved. Understanding each other love language also helps to influence good communication in your relationship.
Learning your partner’s and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship.
Click here to find your love language.
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