Handling a crush seems like a very difficult thing to do especially when the person you are crushing on is your close friend and you see each other frequently but at the same time nothing is impossible. You can deal with your feelings.
Trisha had been crushing on Aaron ever since her friend introduced them at a birthday party, Aaron had chatted with her and she liked him instantly, you can call it “love at first sight” but there was something about Aaron that made Trisha wanted to get to know him more.
He told her a lot about him and she also told him about herself, they exchanged phone numbers and he left after seeing her off to her house. She had a dream about him that night and she was looking forward to him proposing to her.
Her dreams were abolished when her friend told her he was one of the hottest guys on campus and he was dating Sonia who was the prettiest girl in her department. Trisha thought with that confession she would stop loving him but unfortunately, she never stopped loving him. Every time he called her or she saw him she felt like hearing the word “I love you” from him. She wished she was Sonia.
Trisha had been friends with Aaron for about three months now, he has even introduced her to Sonia but with all that she has refused to enter into any relationship all her friends had advised her to stop dreaming that Aaron would ask her out, none of those advice made sense has she could not get over what she felt for Aaron it felt so real but this time she was tired of crushing on a guy for three months, a guy she knew could never be hers.
According to the urban dictionary, a crush can be defined as “a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special”
A lot of people like Trisha are secretly crushing on a particular person for a long while and they can’t get over the feeling even when they know the person feels nothing for them.
CRUSH VS LOVE
Most times the person you are crushing on has this special thing that makes you love them it could their abilities or their beauty if you are real with yourself you are not crushing on their personalities you are only crushing on what they represent you find that person perfect you find it hard to believe they have their faults. Most times the feeling is temporary.
Love, on the other hand, is a real feeling, it is genuine, pure and sincere, you love everything about the person their personalities and what they represent. You realize they are not perfect and it doesn’t matter, you are willing to work it out. You know you have your differences but both of you are willing to make it work and love itself is a decision so you have decided to make it work.
HANDLING A CRUSH
Get real with yourself while handling a crush
You need to tell yourself the hard truth if you ever want to handle this feeling you are feeling. A lot of times you don’t even want to be with the person, you don’t see a future with the person but what you are feeling as consumed you. You need to take it slow and be real with yourself if they removed that thing that made them popular and cool would you still like this person? Ask yourself “can I be with this person in the next 5 years?” if your answer is No then it’s time to go for the best because you can’t afford to settle for less. While handling a crush you need to tell yourself the truth.
The first way to get anything done is to be determined. You are certain what you have for this person is just a crush then it’s time to decide to end it.
Give it time
Time is always a great revealer. Give whatever you are feeling time and you will realize that it might not be real after all. Handling a crush takes patience, feelings and emotions fade with time so give what you are feeling time and you will understand if it’s a crush or love.
I know this will sound tough but this is the best you can do. When you don’t get to see someone all the time what you feel would reduce gradually. I know you are close to the person but you need a little space while handling a crush. Take a little break if you are hurting especially if the person you are crushing on is in a relationship so that you don’t become the third wheel in their relationship.
It would hurt your friend if you just disappeared so you should open up and let them know why you want to go on a break. If you have a matured friend he/she would understand and give you the time that you need. It doesn’t have to be the end of your friendship.
Handling a crush is not as difficult as it looks, it is just a feeling and you need to know that you have power over your emotions. If after doing all these things you still have the feeling then your crush might have developed into a real thing, you might be in love.
If after a long while you still feel the same then it’s time to take it a step further and give it a try. If after seeing the differences and running away and you feel it’s worth it then you could give it a try.
Love is not selfish so don’t ever force yourself on anybody, don’t force anyone to love you it’s frustrating. Don’t hurt yourself by forcing someone to be in a relationship with you, if it’s not mutual then let it go.
Love will always find you if you are patient enough.
Related: Loving yourself
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